Disciplining Mistakes and How to Avoid Making Them With Your Kids
When disciplining your children, there are many ways to do this incorrectly. Sometimes the rules set by parents are not useful. On the other hand, some people are too strict. They expect to be obeyed without incident. It takes a lot of patience and it’s not easy to do. Rules should be for guidance purposes only. Kids need to learn right from wrong along the way. Parents should avoid the following disciplining mistakes to make sure they’re properly raise their kids.
There is a big difference between discipline and disrespect or humiliation. You are more likely to hurt your kids’ self esteem than you are to get them to behave better in the future when you force your kids to feel ashamed. For example, especially when you’re in public, do not insult your children or yell at them.
Labeling your child as lazy, dumb or inconsiderate is also something you shouldn’t do. This is not going to motivate the child to change; it is only going to reinforce the idea that he or she will, in some way, be lacking. If the child is doing something you don’t like, explain what’s wrong with the behavior. The goal is to get better behavior, not to shame or cause feelings of inferiority.
Anytime discipline comes in the picture, you need to be on the same page as everyone else. As a parent, you have probably experienced your child asking for something. If you say no, they might ask the other parent. Say for instance a parent tells a child they cannot have a snack. If the other parent says yes, this is bad communication. In situations like this, children figure out that they don’t have to follow the rules as long as they know which parent to appeal to.
Communication is very important, especially between parents, to avoid these situations. Perhaps someone else watches your child occasionally. This person should know exactly what you expect. Prevent your children from playing one parent against the other. This habit should always be avoided.
Parents can sometimes be overly critical of their kids. If you are a perfectionist, yourself, and you put pressure on your child to excel at everything, this is something you are probably guilty of doing. This is beyond discipline and is more about a parent who is hoping to experience a feeling of success through his son or daughter. It’s a good thing to want your kids to do well in school and in their other activities.
When you’re focused on perfection, however, your children will eventually start to dislike the things in which they are involved. Encourage your children to work hard and do their best but, at the same time, accept that they are going to have different strengths, abilities and interests in different areas. Discipline involves deciding what is best for your kids, and sticking with it.
A style parenting called “authoritative” parenting is used by parents all over the world and is considered a great way to raise your children. Instead of being very strict with your kids, the rules are more like guidelines that should be adhered to. Every parent will make mistakes. Parents are not perfect, they are human beings. By not allowing the mistakes to become habitual, you are doing the best that you can.